topflite51
In The Desert of Nevada
Senior Member
Joined: 05/13/2004
View Profile
|
Hope these haven't been posted before.
These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:
1. 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.'
2. 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They stretch after awhile.'
3. 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.'
4. 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'
5. 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you'
6. 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?'
7. 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?'
8. 'Warning! You want a warning? OK., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.'
9. 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'
10. 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.'
11. 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.'
12. 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'
13. 'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?'
14. 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'
15. 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.'
...AND THE WINNER IS....
16. 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here please ________________________________
 David
Just rolling along enjoying life
|
wa8yxm
Wherever I happen to park
Senior Member
Joined: 07/04/2006
View Profile
 Offline
|
I recall a story I was told by one officer once... He was telling me how he stopped this guy for a traffic violation and the man claimed to be a friend of the police chief... Had the chief's business card and everything.
Well he went on and on and as he was getting his papers back, ticket included, he asked the officer "Do you even know the chief?
The Chief replied "Well sort of,,,, I sleep with his wife"
Now that may or may not be true... I suspect it is.. Had a trooper come in to the post after he ticked a man who claimed to be good friends of.... Said trooper (But failed to recognize him even though the name is there on the uniform for all to see)
Nothin adds excitment like something that is none of your business
John is Near Kenwood TS-2000 housed in a 2005 Damon Intruder 377
|
OzarkPreacher
S.W.Mo. God's Country
Senior Member
Joined: 02/23/2004
View Profile
|
Quote:'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here please.
I could agree with that one. I have been stopped one time in 25 years. And got the ticket to prove it. Gorgeous has been stopped at least 4 times in the last 10 years and not one single ticket. Three times for speeding and once for not signaling a turn. Not even a written warning.
t'aint fair I tell ya, t'aint fair. 
|
Frankjake
the Beaver State
Senior Member
Joined: 05/27/2002
View Profile
Offline
|
11 & 16 are too funny.
|
jimbunting
Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
Senior Member
Joined: 07/31/2003
View Profile
|
True story...........
That mustang convertible that you were trying to break in to ? It has no engine, and it is MINE. Not me, but I can name the copper.
A further actual event, here in Toronto.
A police officer catchs two teens trying to break into a house. It is a really busy night, and no back up car is available to help him, so he cuffs one kids wrist to the other kids ankle. "now try to run away I dare yah ". (grin )
Jim B.
|
|
|
Charlie Q
Brusly, Louisiana
Senior Member
Joined: 12/28/2004
View Profile
Offline
|
Stopping 1 car out of a group of speeders the guy complains to the cop that he wasn't the only one in the group speeding, the cop asks the guy if he's ever been fishing and the guy says yeah. The cop asks him if he's ever caught all of the fish.
'03 Chevy CC/SB,D/A,4X4, Airlift Bags, Bilsteins, Reese slider, Hypertech programmer.
'06 Mobile Scout 31 BWFS
Yamaha 3000ISEB
|
fireman93514
Bishop CA
Senior Member
Joined: 05/31/2007
View Profile
Offline
|
We rolled on a medical aid call for a fight. When we arrived on man was in cuffs. his face was bloody and we were cleaning him up. He keeps bugging the officer to scrach his nose because it itched. Finally the officer had enough and told the guy "you don't swing at me with a two by four and ask for favors. I'm not that friendly." That was over twenty years ago and I always remembered that.
John & Judy
2007 Winnebago Access 31C
|
rob85546
Hot arizona
Senior Member
Joined: 03/14/2006
View Profile
Offline
|
You got to ask yourself a question, do you feel lucky?? Well do ya PUNK???
2007 GMC DURAMAX,LBZ,4 by Crew, Allison
Magnaflow Turbo Back Exhaust
Predator Tuner
18by9 Helo's on BFG's
5year old boy
3 year old baby girl
Sea ray boat
Wilderness 5th wheel
SandRail
HD WideGlide
FORD Expediton
honda Eu3000
|
Hiker3
Florida
Senior Member
Joined: 01/21/2007
View Profile
|
My favorite was when the officer who responded to MY CAR being rear ended -- "Oh, that nice young fella has requested that you don't get the insurance companies involved. His daddy will pay for your damages."
Well, that young fella was sitting there chuckling with his girlfriend -- they had no damage on his front bumper. So I said, "Sure officer, no problem."
(and went home and called my insurance company as soon as I could).
Livin Lite Quicksilver 8.0 (Folding Tent Camper) only 900 lbs!
|
MartyAndPeg
Jacksonville, FL 32204
Senior Member
Joined: 01/17/2002
View Profile
Offline
|
This really turned out OK, but could have had tragic consequences.
A friend and his wife were out on the Harley one night when they got rear-ended while stopped at a light (in front of a biker bar, no less). Bob went one way, Cindy the other, and the bike went yet another. Bob, being a minature version of Arnold, got over to Cindy to make sure she was OK, then pulled off his helmet and starting walking to the car. The car, with two young kids, panicked, put it into reverse, turned around and took off. When the police/emergency crews arrived, while interviewing Bob, the officer asked if he got a license number (it was now a hit and run). Bob just looked at the officer and handed him the front license plate of the car....it got stuck in his rear fender and pulled off when they hit the bike, and one of the witnesses retrieved it. Bob said the cop tried not to chuckle, but knowing they were OK, he just laughed and said "give us an hour".
Within the hour they got the call. Two young boys out for a joyride in dads car, drinking. They panicked and flew home where they tried to hide the car in the back barn.
The bike was toast, but they were OK. I'm sure much better off than the two boys after the police showed up!
Marty & Peg (and 2 cats)
2005 Tiffin Phaeton 40QDH/350HP Cat/MH3000
2007 Ford Ranger XLT 4x4/Brake Buddy
2007 Harley Davidson Softail Custom
Full-Timing-7 years and counting!
Looking for a purpose in life, try Habitat for Humanity RV-Care-A-Vanners!
|
|
|
|
