blessdx11
montana
New Member
Joined: 09/11/2009
View Profile
 Offline
|
"And kids can only truly learn moderation when they have been allowed to experiment with excess."
~I very much disagree with this statement - experimenting with excess before they are old enough to realize the consequences of their actions only teaches them to feed their desires before they are old enough to control them.
Take for instance the percentage of overweight kids here in the USA - wouldn't it be much better for their parents to guide them in making wise food choices BEFORE they are overweight and addicted to twinkies? It is the parent's RESPONSIBILITY. Gluttony can be applied to anything, not just food. Addiction can be the result of overdosing on nearly ANY activity. It is my job as a parent to help my children make wise choices, but in reality there are times that they are not old enough or possibly mature enough to make a certain decision, or maybe haven't yet learned enough self-control for a situation.
Our job as parent is to slowly hand the reigns of all decisions over to our kids. Whether to leave a decision up to our minor children - each situation must be guaged based on severity of consequences. Maybe an older child should be allowed to decide for themselves if they may game on vacation - if they have proven that they have the self-control to limit their time to what your family considers a reasonable amount.
We have chosen to not allow any gaming in the TT (which is 'home' right now as we are traveling for the winter), but we do have a TV/DVD that is allowed on when it is rainy (for a few hours max.), and we all watch a movie together every Friday night (tradition). We limit it because we don't want our kids to grow up with the feeling of needing to be entertained. FTing, our kids can email their friends, or surf online in limited amounts; these limits are based on age and maturity and therefore different kids have different restrictions. But, if we were only camping, Mom would leave her laptop at home too (unless we were going someplace new and needed google earth!) We just don't do technology when camping - for us it defeats the purpose of 'getting away'.
Even FTing, we do not allow gaming as we see no value in it for our kids. (not a slam, just different priorities)
|
happybooker1
Magnolia Texas
Senior Member
Joined: 03/03/2007
View Profile
|
And... gaming leads to violence: Houston News
|
sneakers145
CT
Senior Member
Joined: 06/18/2006
View Profile
Offline
|
happybooker1 wrote:And... gaming leads to violence: Houston News
Seems like alcohol was a huge factor there, as was having guns in the home, moreso than gaming.
Quote:"And kids can only truly learn moderation when they have been allowed to experiment with excess."
~I very much disagree with this statement - experimenting with excess before they are old enough to realize the consequences of their actions only teaches them to feed their desires before they are old enough to control them
Pretty much by having unlimited access to all edible things in our house, whether it be fruit, veggies, cheese, meats, juice, soda, cookies, candy, ice cream, and having everything equal in value, with nothing being labeled bad or taboo, the kids pretty much eat the healthier things over the cookies and candy. Why? Because they know at any given time of any day they can eat a cookie if they want one. Only once or twice have they ever eaten too many where they said yuck, I shouldn't have eaten too many.
I came from a very strict home where TV was strictly regulated, from not only the hours we were allowed to watch per week being severely restricted, but also the shows had to be pre-approved. Most of the so-called 'cool' shows at the time were off limits due to content my parents didn't approve of. So I watched all of those shows at friends houses. When I was old enough to drive and get into R rated movies, I saw those. Restricting me didn't prevent me from seeing what my parents didn't want me to see, I found ways around their restrictions.
Same with food. Sweets and sodas were severely limited, rarely allowed at home, and only in the strictest quantities. My mother prepared healthy foods. When I was around 10-12 I would shoplift candy so I could get some. When I had a job I'd buy my own junk food and eat it out of the house or hid it in my room. When I finally moved out I only drank sodas and ate junk food to excess. So strictly limiting me as a kid had the opposite effect.
Now that I'm in my 40s I realize that I can get sweets whenever I want them and I don't have to eat the whole box in one sitting before I get caught. Lifetime of food issues there, whereas my kids have none. They eat far more vegetables than I do!
Point is, your kids may not be learning what you hope and think they are by severely limiting things.
We are all free to parent the way we see fit. But there are more ways than one to raise responsible, compassionate, creative, healthy kids than by regularly imposing arbitrary limits on them. The more opportunities they have to make decisions that concern their own lives with the guidance of their parents, even if they choose opposite of what we would like them to choose, and experience the consequences of their choices (good and bad), the better they get at making good choices. My role as parent is to be a facilitator and partner in navigating the world, not to control every minute of their lives or make them into clones of myself.
* This post was
edited 10/26/09 04:49pm by sneakers145 *
Jay
Two kids and two Brussels Griffons
Nights camped in 2009: 27
2000 Fleetwood Bounder 32H
2007 Ford Focus
|
blessdx11
montana
New Member
Joined: 09/11/2009
View Profile
Offline
|
I have no desire to control every minute of my childrens lives, or to make my children clones of myself. I agree that children will sneak what is taboo if parents are legalistic and don't talk with their children giving them valid reasons for limiting items/activities, or if you are limiting them beyond what they should be for their age/maturity, or if control is just a power trip for the parent. Also though, if you truly know your children, you will know if they are struggling with a limitation before it has grown into rebellion. The key is to knowing your child's heart.
I'm glad for your family that it works for you to not limit food choices, but that obviously doesn't work for many families. It is so sad to drive by a school and see the numbers of obese children. Children that will struggle with food and weight issues often for the rest of their lives. All because their parents didn't teach them to make wise choices, or even made bad choices for the children when they were young.
There are also many children who game excessively and don't have a reality - they live in a fantasy world and can't differentiate between their gaming and real life consequences. It was their parents responsibility to control external influences before they control the child.
And guns aren't dangerous; a gun cannot hurt anyone on it's own accord - it is the person pulling the trigger that is the danger.
My oldest child is 20, and I couldn't be more proud of the upstanding young man that he is. I see the same maturity in the other older kids. The proof is in the pudding, and I will continue to be the PARENT the way that I did for him (and he is definately NOT a momma's boy). I am not their buddy or their friend (as my first role). My job is to keep them safe and to help them learn to make wise choices. The way that we parent works for us.
One of the most important things that I have taught (or am teaching) my kids is that "a smart person learns from his mistakes, but a WISE person learns from the mistake of others." Kids don't have to learn everything the hard way...
* This post was
edited 10/26/09 07:23pm by blessdx11 *
|
Mr.Beebo
Illinois
Full Member
Joined: 04/21/2009
View Profile
Offline
|
Back to OP's question, we bring along the electronics and they are there for late night when we're all winding down of if they should wake up before anyone else in the morning. Other than that, they are in the cabinet.
|
|
|
atreis
Yellow Springs, OH
Full Member
Joined: 08/29/2005
View Profile
Offline
|
I have 3 kids, ages 9, 6, and 3. No TV, handheld games, or other electronic diversions are permitted in either the car or camper - this includes us adults - we don't allow ourselves to bring along laptops or the more-capable cell phone. They (and we) have plenty of access to that stuff while at home, or if they happen to hook up with kids whose parents are not like-minded while camping - we make no effort to prevent or control that since we think the social interaction balances the games.
Before bed, my wife makes up (usually on the spot, with the kids specifying the characters but not the plot right before the story starts) and tells them a bedtime story. She's really good at that. I tried it once, but my story was about 30 seconds long. The kids thought it very funny, but it didn't serve the purpose.
We have lots of board and card games on hand for rainy days, and the kids are encouraged to read/look at picture books and play other car games while traveling (and yes, we take trips that involve multiple consecutive days of travel to get to our destination).
|
Leo Benson
CT
Senior Member
Joined: 04/30/2003
View Profile
|
to each his own. But our rule was no comuter games. We did not own any, not even at home. Our kids were active in sorts, scouting, studying, etc. And of course, playing outside. Our other rule was no TV during the school week. If you are bored and can't amuse yourself, I will be happy to find you something to do. LOL they were never bored! It was a tough rule at times, but our boys are Eagle Scouts, were varsity athletes, on dean's list in college, and both have rec'd post-grad scholarships. They are fit and not overweight. They can carry on an adult conversation and are not socially awkward. And they don't understand why some of their peers would spend hours wasting time playing on line games.
That being said, only you and your husband can decide what's right for YOUR family. Negotiating an agreement and presenting a solid front to the kids is far more important than the actual decision itself.
|
Leo Benson
CT
Senior Member
Joined: 04/30/2003
View Profile
|
sneakers145 wrote:resmas wrote:
Yes, this is a subject I feel very strongly about.
As do I.
You may not see the value in gaming, but your kids do. You are not them; they are not you.
Things my son has learned from gaming:
a) hand/eye coordination
b) learning problem solving skills, trial and error; perseverence - games are difficult and hard to master
c) Increased his vocabulary, reading comprehension, writing and spelling; also began to read complex game manuals to learn new strategies to play.
d) Keyboarding skills
e) Math, geometry, algebraic thinking
f) social skills, etiquette, cooperation and team play, was part of several online guilds and talked with guild-mates during the game
g) Geography, world landmarks, map reading skills, reading coordinates, terrain, etc.
h) html code and programming
i) exposure to foreign languages and cultural differences
j) laws of physics and motion, auto mechanics
k) spatial relationships and spatial reasoning
l) military strategies and history, and questions of morality
m) setting up online auctions, similar to ebay. Learning about supply, demand, economics, and pricing
These are the main ones off the top of my head, I'm sure there are more.
My gosh, hard to believe that 30 years ago we actually had surgeons with the hand-eye coordination to do brain surgery, or pilots who could fly a plane, or Nobel-winning economists, or sports teams......
I guess we were Neanderthals.
What REALLY kills me is when little kids get parked in front of TV as a baby sitter. It's a downward slide into the computer and video game abyss after that.
|
sneakers145
CT
Senior Member
Joined: 06/18/2006
View Profile
Offline
|
Quote:My gosh, hard to believe that 30 years ago we actually had surgeons with the hand-eye coordination to do brain surgery, or pilots who could fly a plane, or Nobel-winning economists, or sports teams......
I guess we were Neanderthals.
30 years ago we didn't have doctors performing surgery with this:Link
Quote:What REALLY kills me is when little kids get parked in front of TV as a baby sitter. It's a downward slide into the computer and video game abyss after that.
Kids gravitate to the most interesting thing. If the TV is more interesting than what's going on outside, or games, or what not, that is what they'll do. Other times kids choose to veg out in front of the TV because it helps them de-stress from school or a more turbulent home life. Lots of cool things on TV these days with Discovery Channel, History Channel, Sci-Fi, Speed, etc.
|
atreis
Yellow Springs, OH
Full Member
Joined: 08/29/2005
View Profile
Offline
|
sneakers145 wrote:Quote:My gosh, hard to believe that 30 years ago we actually had surgeons with the hand-eye coordination to do brain surgery, or pilots who could fly a plane, or Nobel-winning economists, or sports teams......
I guess we were Neanderthals.
30 years ago we didn't have doctors performing surgery with this: Link
Quote:What REALLY kills me is when little kids get parked in front of TV as a baby sitter. It's a downward slide into the computer and video game abyss after that.
Kids gravitate to the most interesting thing. If the TV is more interesting than what's going on outside, or games, or what not, that is what they'll do. Other times kids choose to veg out in front of the TV because it helps them de-stress from school or a more turbulent home life. Lots of cool things on TV these days with Discovery Channel, History Channel, Sci-Fi, Speed, etc.
Ya know guys, the question was about these things while camping. You guys seem to have extended it to include not camping. Seems to me that kids can develop all those video game skills (which I do not discount) while not camping, and develop more social, outdoorsy, and boredom coping skills, as well as participate in more activities as a family while camping.
|
|
|
|
